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Wednesday 5 December 2012

Currently

This post was inspired by Dani at Sometimes Sweet and by the the need I felt this week to get back into blogging after yet another absence.

Sunset In Tannalot, loved this part of Bali
Watching - The shows I tape on Austar during the week while I'm either at work or at the boys so that I can savour them on today when I don't start work until 5pm. It's one of my favourite parts of my late start mornings especially on days like today when it is freezing and blowing a gale outside, seriously Melbourne what happened to Summer?

Listening to - My current songs on repeat have actually both been inspired by the X-factor Australia, which the boy is getting a good laugh. Winners Single by Samantha Jade is a great pick me up and workout song I love her voice and the way this song makes me feel, its such a fun song. The one the I am obsessed with though is 'Get Along' by Guy Sebastian which I have been listening to on repeat for the past two weeks, it's amazing I can't believe that this is the same kid who won the very first Australian Idol way back in 2003. This song is brilliant and I adore the sentiment of it.


Planning - Christmas, it has completely snuck up on me this year it like I suddenly turn around and the stores were playing christmas music and it December 1st. Ahhh! Christmas is quite large in my family I still celebrate with all my uncles, aunties and cousins plus their kids and partners, and this year will be the boys first time experiencing it and I really don't know if he really understands what to expect but we will see.

Thinking about - My goals for next year, as the end of this year has snuck up on me, the planning for next year has as well, deciding down which path I personally want to head and what that means for the rest of my life, it's something I've been dwelling on ever since I returned from Canada two years ago. Who am I and what do I want to do with what I find out about myself, well I'm working on it and hopefully something will come up soon.

Reading - I'm working on trying to get some time to read, life being life at the moment there isn't a lot of free time but I am currently reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin and I'm really enjoying it.

Making Me Happy - Getting to spend Sundays with the boy, it's the highlight of my week we just get to hang out and not do much or have adventures and it so fun, it makes the fact that I have to spend the rest of the week 2 hours away from him seem not so hard. My family, I love them that the fact that I am rarely home is something that amuses them rather than annoying them, they make me happy.

Now off to enjoy more tapped shows, yay! Hope you have a good day x


Friday 7 September 2012

Emerging from under the rock

It finally feels like I have time to breathe after a fairly hectic last couple of weeks, the has been an immense shift in my life in regards to work and the amount of free time I have to allocated to anything in my life but I'm going to try to do better.

My little blue car sitting lonely in the car park, after a late finish 
I started a new job almost a month ago now and while I am busier, more tired and have to make appointments to see friends and family I am incredibly happy with this decision that I have made. I now work as a team leader in a quite well know family restaurant chain and even though the training schedule has been intense and my social life has shifted well into the background I am genuinely loving it.

My farewell gift from my last job very sweet of them, I will miss working with them
I'm working more and make more money and actually working at keep track where it is going which is a whole new step for me, I also have had to go through the process of buying a whole new work wardrobe though I have keep pieces that are hospitality neutral, I have also had to buy clothes that fit with the corporate casual look that is require while I am team leading my shifts. So money coming in and going out has been an issue but it is slow balancing out, I can see how my bank balance with a bit of nip-tucking and some focus on my part will be turning in my favor.

Travel has also been a big part of the past month I now have to drive about 40 minutes extra each day so my little blue car has been racking up the miles but this was always something that was going to happen when the boy lives a 300km round trip away. Also I'm counting down and hanging out for my family ( well minus my parents) trip to Bali in November, its all paid for now so just working on saving the spending money and it will be a well deserved two weeks away. My parents, the boys mum and step dad and his sisters family have all just return from trips to Bali, Fuji and Thailand respectively and as I was housesitting with the boy at his sisters I was delightful spoiled on their return with a sample pack a Nina Ricci fragrances which smells so amazing.


Driving, Driving, Driving, I alway seem to be driving
The pup exploring, the kids cubby house



The boys sisters cat, she is cra-cra-crazy, but lovely at the same time

Ponies have been missing me, or they are just looking for more carrots


My gorgeous thank you gift, love it

Monday 30 July 2012

My life on monday

I miss last weeks scheduled monday update because I've been dealing with everything involved with changing jobs, learning a whole new menu and order method as well as an entirely different service pattern moving from cafe to restaurant. I'm thoroughly enjoying the challenge and am really excited about my first full week next week and then starting team leader training in the next month or so. Also the extra money a week will be extremely helpful in the paying done of my debt and saving some money to be able fully enjoy my holiday to Bali with my family in November.

I have also began to place a big effort and large chunk of my time on getting fit and eating cleaner, adding more fruit and vegetables into my diet and deleting a lot of the sugar that I current consume. It has only been a week and I'm already starting to notice a difference in the way I am feeling so onwards and upwards I say.

I also got to spend a great weekend with the boy in his home town last weekend which was really nice but however my phone had died so there is no photos, but we did get a chance to visit the charming maritime museum in the next town over and it was delightful we'll have to go back soon so I can get some photos to post here because the surrounds are really gorgeous.














Monday 16 July 2012

Money Monday, my past week and looking forward to the future

This week has been a moving forward week with my life and money, today was an especially productive day, I drove home from the boys house and managed not to hit any traffic which is awesome for a monday. I had my second job interview in as many weeks and the first of three I have organized this week. After which I spent the afternoon in front of the computer sorting out and lodging my tax forms.

My biggest step for me is that I made a delicious dinner for my family, made entirely from ingredients from my fridge, freezer and cupboards. I'm very proud of this because I'm a person who often makes trips to the supermarket full of good intentions, buying lots of fresh and delicious looking ingredients, which then sit in the fridge and are destined to end in up in the rubbish bin rather than in the frying pan.

Sunday was for hanging out with the boy and going out to visit the block that will within the next 6 months become his home, its amazing watching him go through this process and start to see his future and all the bright things that are in store for him. We spent the afternoon washing his lovely dog who had absolute ball running around at the block, splashing through all the deep puddles, climbing dirt mountains, I wish I would have remembered to take my camera but we both left them in the car.

Its exciting looking into the future and seeing little bits of what could be.

Monday 9 July 2012

Money Monday

My hairdressing attempt not too shabby I think
This past week has been quite a stressful week money wise for me, there was a huge stuff up with getting paid from my boss and I didn't end up getting paid until friday when I was supposed to be getting paid on monday/tuesday and I had all my direct debits coming out on Wednesday. Yep it was really fun, but it all got sorted out in the end but it has fueled my resolve to keep looking for another job and to find a way to make more money as it stands.

I also cut my own fringe, something that I have been debating for the last couple of weeks as my vision was being affected by my weed like growing fringe. I am quite happy with the result and have decided to not dye my hair for the next couple of months and to let the natural colour grow through and then get blonde highlights at the beginning of summer if I have saved enough money. Yes I am putting my haircut and colour on lay-by until I can afford it.

June 30th has rolled around and the new financial year is here, I know my original plan was to be debt free by the end of this year, but I think a more realistic plan is to aim to be debt free by the start of next financial year. I know this is moving the goal posts in terms of my ideal goal but I feel that setting a more attainable goal that I can achieve will be better for myself in the long run.

Monday 2 July 2012

Money Monday

So this past week has been quite different on the money front for me, for me the whole journey to being debt free (or at least massive credit card debt free) is based on trying out different ideas and techniques to discover what works for me. My entire life up until this point has been lived through trial and error, doing things one way until it doesn't work any more and then trying something different.

My biggest thing is not giving up finding the will and the motivation to keep going, working away at it dollar by dollar until I get where I want to be. It's the biggest thing for me, it won't happen overnight but it will happen.My biggest problem is that I look at the big picture and worry too much I see the huge number in debit I am and get overwhelmed by it, instead over focusing on each dollar that it goes down. So my new plan is to focus on each $1000 that I knock off, I'm on my way and that is what I need to focus on.

After a slight stuff up with hours this past week I somehow ended up with both Saturday and Sunday off so I took great joy in getting to spend Friday night with the boy and I had the middle sister's birthday on Saturday night. After I got home in the wee hours of sunday morning I decided to enjoy the rest of my sunday by going to my first AFL game for the year unfortunately St Kilda lost but I had a great time hanging out with my sister and grandpa at the game, it was a good weekend.
the boys puppy cooking in front of the fire, lovely and warm

my weekly view on the ways to the boys

Gotta love footy under the big lights

I love this city

Older Sis and pappa on the train home

Monday 25 June 2012

Money Monday, the rainy day edition

So last week I felt my first earthquake and this weekk there has been so much rain and flooding that my neighboring towns have faces evacuations and complete isolation after being cut off by flood waters, hmmm maybe the Mayans had a point. Another big thing I've come face to face with this week is yet again my money situation or more accurately my attitude towards my money. I have had a credit card with a limit of over $7000 since I was 19 years old, so naturally over time it's has begun to feel like its my money rather than money lent to me by someone else that I eventually h r to pay back. Though I am in no way deny that I have not had the most amazing time over the past 6 years using it to travel the world, and to see/do things that I otherwise would of had to say no to. But here is the biggest shift that has been taking place over the past couple of week changing my way of thinking to understand that it is no longer 'my' money that is had basically been a loan that I have to pay off again because yes I have paid off over 7K in debt before and definitely plan to do it this time. But it was in a frank discussion that I was having with the boys parents last night when another new thought process was presented to me, using the banks money. For example getting paid directly into my credit card account and then using that as my regular account so using my pay to pay down the principle money owing and then using the money is the account for paying my car payments, phone bill, insurance and fuel as well as my weekly allowance. I have not put this theory into action yet but the idea is one that may definitely work for my situation. Because currently when I have money left in my savings account at the end of the week I no doubt spend it, whereas if it was in my credit card account then I would you use it because I am very aware of every cent that moves in that account. So my current plan of attack id to implement this theory in the new financial year and see if I can't go gangbusters on my credit card debt.

Wednesday 20 June 2012

I feel the Earth move under my feet!

We had a 5.2 magnitude earthquake here in Victoria last night. It struck as I was in bed watching a video on my computer and the whole room started shaking, it was scary and just a bit weird. Facebook lit up afterwards and this was something that was post afterwards and it truly made me laugh.

LOL!

Have a Great Day!

Monday 18 June 2012

Money Monday!

Well last week was a bit of a struggle, it was one of those weeks were all the bills seem to show up at once, all demanding to be paid and by the end of the week, you have exactly $13.20 to you name. Not fun at all, but this is why I'm paying my credit card off, because it is the biggest chunk out of my weekly budget, at the moment I am paying on average $150 off my debts each week, I just need to stick to this plan and keep on keeping on and eventually my bank balance will start reading positive figures. I've done it before but this time it will be permanent.

Other than all the bills this past week was a pretty good one, besides the fact that my accident prone nature caught up to me at work and I slice an over inch long gash into my middle finger on my left hand a big whoops. My bosses wife took my to two different doctor surgeries till we found one that was open that late on a Saturday. So after 2 hours of waiting with an impatient 3 year old in the waiting area I was all glued up and ready to go back to work. But it just goes along with my previous injury list, breaking my wrist sitting down in music class, stabbing myself in the leg while husking corn, being head-butted by a horse and breaking 6 bones in my face then 3 months later head-butting the other-side into a gate latch at 4am when starting work. I could give Bella Swan a run for her money in the accident prone department, though she can keep the creepy virgin vampire lovers thank you very much.

the most recent accidental damage

This is what 6 broken bones looks like at 5 in the morning
And at 8 that night
And making the sides match up

So hoping for a better week this week and if you could all keep my mum in your thoughts as she under goes double knee replacements this week thanks very much!


Wednesday 13 June 2012

Money Monday..... on a wednesday.....? whoops

because it makes me smile and sometimes we all need a hug

The past couple of weeks have been slightly hellish for me money wise, I've been trying really hard at sticking to my 'budget' and idea of what I have to spend but sometimes I fail,  I've posted about it on here before and I will continue to because being honest and having this blog to report to is a way of keep me on track.

So what have I done to help myself money wise lately?

- Reduced my credit card limit on my original card to $7800 (I'm aiming to have it down to under 7K within the next 2 months)

- Paid at least $150 off my credit card debt each week, some weeks just that much but others like this week I also made a payment on my no interest card of $60

- Started learning to use and appreciate the word 'no', even when its hard, like when my sister wants me to go to a Lady Antebellum Concert with her (yes, yes please!! NO!),  saying no to even walking into all the shops that are having their end of financial year sales (nope keep walking lady), saying no to going out to the movies with my girl friends (how about you come over and we watch one of the 1000s of DVDs I have instead)

I am making progress, it was never going to be a all or nothing statement with me, I can't quit spending cold turkey, I tried that with sugar this week it made me quite ill, but I can do the little cut each and every day that will make a difference in the long run.

Wednesday 6 June 2012

I haven't written on here in over two weeks, in doing so I've missed two of the deadlines I've set for myself,  I have had the best intentions of writing posts and gotten to the point where my fingers touch the keys and have stopped myself, unsure of what I want to say. Of what I want this blog to be.

I want it to be a place where I can share and be honest about what is happening in my life, but first I feel like I need to decide what is happening in my life. I'm 25 years old and am finally starting to feel like I might know what I want to be when I grow up and that scares the crap out of me but excites me so much as well because I finally discovering that it is possible. I'm sure I will share more about this at a later date right now it's just a small idea bubbling away inside of me growing more as each day does, and you know how the saying goes from little things big things grow.

I will be back next monday with a new Money Monday, and I'm aiming to be posting here more I already have drafts and dot point post idea on my computer and plenty more floating around my head, but I'm still new at this, but I'm getting there.

Monday 21 May 2012

Money Monday


Failing is not the falling down, it’s the staying down



The past 2 weeks, me and my budget have taken a few hits, from a parking fine ($61) at work though I was parked legally to having to pay the $116 Vet Bill after my dog and my sisters dog had a massive blow out fight. And I ended up falling into my old habits and buying things when I felt bad, with my credit card that made it even worse.


And the boy and I spent a great weekend away, where I spent way more than I should have on spoiling him for his birthday, but he is my boy and he actually yelled at me for the amount I spent on him. He is very aware of the amount of money I owe and the lengths that I am going to have to undertake to pay it all back and I love the fact that he will be there for me through all of it.


So I had a slip up and I moving on its like any diet you have a bad week and move on so that the next one is a better one which is what I’m going to do.

Sunday 13 May 2012

Happy Mummies Day

Mum, Dad and I on one of my returns from Canada
Today, Mother's Day is a day that I am especially thankful for, even though I sent most of it at work and not with my mum I am thankful for her in every way. I have amazing parents even though my dad and I don't always see eye to eye on things and we have a tendency to rub each other the wrong way I love him dearly with all my heart. My mother on the other hand I can't remember a true fight that I have every had with her, I can only remember one occasion when I said something horrible and to this day I regret that I ever made her feel that way. She is the sweetest most caring person that I know, she would gladly give up what she has for others and is always thankful and shocked when ever someone appreciates her.


Besides raising me and my two older sisters to be who we are today, she also went back to school and is now a medically endorsed Div 2 nurse, which is pretty inspiring for me considering she had 3 kids under 4 when she was my age.

She also was brave enough to let me her little baby daughter go overseas by myself on exchange when I was only 16 (well after she convinced me to wait a year when I was 15), I was in Germany for 2 months and missed my family like crazy especially my mum, but had an amazing time that I am forever thankful for. Then she also watched me at barely 20 years old, get on a plane and fly 13,000kms away, and was there for me on my first night when I was crying down the phone thinking I'd made the biggest mistake ever. But she never told me to suck it up, she never said well just give up and get back on the plane and come home, she calmly told me what I need to hear that she loved me and missed me but that I was going to have amazing adventures and that when I went to sleep and woke up that it would be a new wonderful day. So I took her advice, I had amazing adventures of new and wonderful things for 3 years before I came home for good, but I never could have stayed if it wasn't for the love I knew she had for me even though I chose to be so far away.


Mum and Nana

So I am thankful for my mum in each and every way, each and everyday but today is just the day I use words to tell her.

THANKS MUM xoxo 

Monday 7 May 2012

Money Monday

hehe this makes me laugh

Spending Fast and me, they don’t really work, yes I want to pay off my debt but I am not an all or nothing type person. So my idea is that I won’t buy things that I don’t need but will not cut everything out of my life that I enjoy, because to me that’s not living. I fully intend to live completely within my means, I am still full committed to knocking out my debt but I think a Spending Diet is the way of doing it that is going to work the most for me.

So I will not spend money on…
  •    Books (I have plenty that I have not yet read)
  •  DVDs (yet again I have a ton that I haven’t even taken the plastic off yet)
  • Clothes (I have more than enough in my wardrobe to get by for the next 8 months
  •  Home Decorating. Knick Knacks, Treats and Flowers, they are extras than can be purchase paying cash or using my debit card once I clean my debit and cut up my credit cards.

The steps that I have taken to ensure that this will be entirely possible is that I have applied for a 0% interest credit card balance transfer, for a card that will join my current card in sitting somewhere that is as far from my wallet as it can be. This interest free period last for 8 months and will save me approximately $120 a month which is a lost considering that there were some stages last year where I paid nearly less than that off my card each month.

Another step I am taking is removing my debit card from my wallet, I’m going to be keeping it in a safe compartment in my car, so that instead of putting everything on my debit card and not thinking about the money that is leaving my account I will be giving myself a weekly cash withdrawal (of $100) to spend on my expenses but once that is gone I will have to justify going to my car to collect the card to make any further transactions and I would probably just end up going home. Thats the plan anyway.

Current Debt Level - $8,900 (Cracked the 9K mark!!)

Tuesday 1 May 2012

Money Monday (on Tuesday)

I'm a day late on posting this because I spend most of yesterday sleeping after spending the weekend accompanying the boy on his overnight bread delivery run after working on Saturday morning so I was up from 6am Saturday till 12.30pm Sunday it was a long day/night but really fun to hang out with him and see what he does ever weekend. But driving home yesterday morning and then working all day was not so much fun, and then after going to the gym on the way home from work I was a but buggered.

Money-wise last week had ups and downs, I did manage to pay an extra $50 off my credit card but then received a fine for accidently running a red light by 1.1 seconds so that was a $305 fine and 3 demerit points off my license, which is a big whoops but I will cop it because I know I did it and it was a big mistake that I made. But $305 is a big chunk in addition to what I have to pay back, I did manage to sick to the spending fast for the most part of the week, but am unsure of how to do it when spending time with the boy. I refuse to let him pay for every thing, thats just not how we work, and the fact that we both still live at home with our parents means that there is no real chance of doing home based stuff all the time.

So does anyone have ideas for free stuff to do with the boy that we both enjoy?

Debit Level - $9,129 paid off last week $50
Also news, have job interview for second job tomorrow so wish me luck 

Wednesday 25 April 2012

ANZAC Day

Today, April 25th is one of the most special days in the Australian calendar, it is the day when all australians take time to give thanks and remember the sacrifices may by the men and women of our Armed Forces, in the past, present and future.

ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, and this day commemorates that landing of the ANZACs at Gallipoli in 1915 which was the first major military action by the Australian and New Zealand armed forces in World War I.   I love the fact that this day is marked so well by all Australians, this morning over 35,000 people turned up in the pouring rain to the dawn service in Melbourne alone, its quite amazing. My aim is to definitely attend the dawn service here next year, and then I really hope to be able to attend the 100th Anniversary in Turkey in 2015, which was an aim of my uncle Gary who passed away from cancer last year, I want to attend for him because he never made it there in his lifetime even though it was a dream of his.


So this is my way of saying thanks to the Service Men and Women of Australia and the rest of the world, past, present and future for what they do, thank you for the sacrifices that you and your families make and for being far braver than I ever could be.



Monday 23 April 2012

Money Monday

So this week I signed the Debt Free Life Pledge over at and then she saved, because I've been struggling with money and my debt since 2008, over that time I have paid off over $5K in credit card debt only have it balloon out to its current state of $9K. That I can no longer live with so I signed the pledge and I'm posting about it here to hold myself accountable for my own debt. I created it by wanting the newest shiniest iphone and macbook, by thinking that putting something on my credit card was like paying for it myself, its NOT!
So I'm signed up and committed that over the next year I will only buy things I need, instead of just what I want, so to get me started here is a list of my definite needs.

  • Car payments and insurance, petrol - $150 per week, (my new car is justified because it cost me $50 to fill and a full tank lasts me at least a week and half if not two, compared to my old car that cost me $70-85 to fill and only lasted for a week at a stretch)
  • Food - $70 a week , no more eating out or trips to Nando's before the movies, well no more trips to the movies actually which may be the hardest sacrifice of them all as it is a big part of my socialisation and generally a weekly or twice weekly occurrence, but I'm going to save that $16 and put it to better use. Also no more buying my lunch from at work, my daily food budget is going to be $10 for 3 meals a day which may be the biggest struggle as I love good for but the kicker is I also love cooking, so if I plan out my shopping and cooking I can use my days off to make lunch for my working days.
  • Board - $80 per week or 6 hours work, recently I have been working for my parents in lieu of paying board, and as much as I hope this can continue I feel guilty of the weeks when I do less than 5 hours which is what covers my board.
  • Phone Bill $30 per week, this is a need as I have already signed the 2 year contract that doesn't expire until Feb 2013, and also the boy lives 2 hours away so the phone is our lifeline especially since the no entertainment budget and limited car usage will mean that we get to see each other less. 
So those are my needs, I'm sure things will come along that will challenge this list but that is what I am to spend per week, and I if I'm successful then I will be able to pay of at least $70 per week of my debt. I'm aiming for more and actively searching for a second or higher paying job that will be solely used to pay down my debt with my current job being used for expenses.
Would one of these be nice?
So this is the plan, wish me luck because I'm going to need it!

Charlie

Thursday 19 April 2012

Living (semi) out of home


Princess Polly
In the past week I’ve only spent two nights sleeping in my own bed, its been a refreshing experience helped me get my mind around things at home and solidify my goals for the future, and just given me a break from worrying about jobs and money related things.

It started by me house-sitting for my sister for weekend, well more Polly the cat sitting. She’s more the hide out and stalk you kitty rather than the lets sit on the couch and cuddle, so looking after her can be very entertaining, including her stealing my hair tie of the coffee table and me chasing her all over the house to retrieve it. I love kittens neither of our cats were ever super playful, so its nice spending time with the bundle of energy.



Lilies from the market
Watching TV and discovering new blogs
This weekend also included a visit to the local monthly market, which I love but generally miss because I’m either working or travelling around somewhere, I got some lovely flowers and a super cute new bracelet.






The Market on the waterfront


Then after arriving at work on Monday and finding out that I had no shifts until Friday, I decided after working for my mum for most of Tuesday that I would take the time to visit the boy because I’m now working all weekend so our time together would have been zero. I had such a lovely time hanging out with him and his family for 2 days it’s a lot of what I’ve been missing lately, with all the work he does with his two jobs added on to the fact that he lives 2 hours our time together is pretty precious.
Port Arlington

So I spend yesterday cruising around in his work truck for the day, which was lovely because while it may be a less than glamorous job, the area that he does in it is quite beautiful to drive through.

We also went out for dinner to a lovely newly open brewery restaurant that had amazing tapas and pizzas to go along side the boutique beer (for him) and cider (for me). It was great because it wasn’t busy so we sat around chatting with the chef and owner while enjoying some great food and drinks.

But now back to work tomorrow, what have you been up to?

Friday 6 April 2012

Currently...



Obsessing Over... The Hunger Games, I've seen it once and I'm really dying to see it again, but its school holidays, the teens and tweens are scaring me away from the cinemas, but maybe I'll take my best friend on Saturday night.

Working On... making more money, I've start working with my parents again, which is great because I get to work from home and it help substitute the hours that I'm not getting at my real job, where I'm only getting part timeish hours at the moment, and I'm still looking for another part time job to make everything a little easier, and less stressful.

Thinking About ... redecorating my room, I moved into my own room at my parents in November, I've been working on making it my own space since then. I've painted, re-carpeted, and now I'm working on adding all the extra things that make it mine. All I need now is chairs, well a chair and hopefully a chaise lounge or daybed, but I'm saving up for them so it may be a while.


Anticipating ... my trip to Bali in November, its still a while away but I can't wait. I've in 4 different countries over the last 9 years but the only time I've been to Asia was through the airports and after my trip to Fiji last year I've really excited to get away again.

Listening to...

This song is great, The Treble is a band from Winnipeg and one of the members is the cousin of one of my good friends from Canada, and the video clip is pretty awesome to raise money and awareness for the red cross.

Eating... well you mean beside easter eggs and hot cross buns? Lots of seafood and stir-frys at the moment, I made delicious sweet chilli prawn fettucini and it was a big hit.
                              
Wishing ... that I could invent teleportation because I've been really missing my canadian life over the past couple of weeks but then I love being home and being able to drive around and see my family and the growing brood of kiddies. But a Canadian adventure is definitely due in 2013 I believe or at least that will be my aim.